


In Bloom

by Ottermelon



Category: K-On!
Genre: F/F, POV First Person, Songfic, but it's also based off a song, literally it's about the songwriting process, lots of musical terms and music-playing, this might actually be pretty boring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-02-14 14:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13009542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ottermelon/pseuds/Ottermelon
Summary: One day, Mio shows up to school with a new song, and everyone's excited to start learning it... except Ritsu, who might be in over her head. What's she to do when she's asked to learn something beyond her skill level? And why won't Mio tell her much about the song's origins? Still, it's hard for her to turn down a request from her best friend.





	1. Motion Sickness

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I can't completely escape writing about these girls. Also it kinda makes me sad how little people write fanfiction for this series, so there's that.
> 
> I think I love stories that explore and develop Ritsu's character, because I see a lot of potential in her. So this story is my attempt at that too.
> 
> I'm not sure how shippy I want this to be. For now, it's mostly about the songwriting process. You have been warned.

A hand comes down on my desk, hard. I turn, startled. The other girls standing around are startled too, judging from the way that all heads in the room turn towards us.

 

It’s Mio. For once, she seems oblivious to the amount of attention she’s drawn. “I want you to see this.” Her smile is unusually confident.

 

I look down, and she pushes a folded paper towards me. “What’s this? Your confession to me?” I grin, expecting her to become flustered, but she doesn’t budge. Confused by her steely eyes, I take the paper and unfold it.

 

The first thing I notice is that it’s all in English. It reads:

 

_Stop calling me out!_

_We’re never going to_

_Put the pieces back together_

_If you won’t let me get better_

_And stop digging it up, or_

_(???)_

_(???)_

 

I’d like to think that I’ve been studying my English more than usual lately (though that isn’t saying much), but I don’t exactly understand everything in front of me. “Mio, I’m flattered,” I begin, trying to play it off, “but -”

 

“Not everything is about you.” She sighs. “It’s our new song.”

 

“Really?” I’m a bit shocked, although maybe I shouldn’t be. She’s our main lyric-writer and, as I give the words another once-over, I realize the words _do_ have a certain flow to them. “Why English, though? It’s so… _gross_ to read.”

 

“It’s not, if you studied it harder.” She takes a chair from the adjacent desk and sits across from me. “I suppose I could write it in Japanese, but… I don’t know, it’s a lot catchier if I sing it this way.” She motions to the paper, and I can see a small smile begin to form on her face as she talks. She’s put a lot of thought into this.

 

“It’s been awhile since we’ve learned a new song.” I’d be lying if I said her enthusiasm wasn’t a _bit_ contagious. Just a bit.

 

“That’s great, because I’ve written out an outline of what we’re playing.”

 

“What? All of us?”

 

She nods.

 

“That was fast!” I sink down in my seat, thinking of the cakes and pastries that were part of this afternoon’s itinerary. I’m already mourning the loss of their sweet taste, their fluffy cream, their -

 

“The original point of our club is to play _music_ , you know. Besides, I have a feeling you girls might like it.”

 

Damn. Sometimes I hate how she can read my mind like that. She knew I was thinking about cakes, anyway. “Why? Is it like what we usually play?”

 

She bites her lip. “Kind of? It’s less…” Her finger begins to tap on the desk as she searches for the right description. “...less of a rocker than our other songs, I’d say.”

 

“I don’t get it.”

 

“Here, I’ll just show you.” She pulls an MP3 player from out of nowhere. “How do you feel about pop-punk? I don’t remember you ever being into it.”

 

“Um…” The genre sounds familiar, but I can’t remember much beyond that.

 

“Yellowcard, for example. Or New Found Glory.”

 

I shake my head. “Nope. Those are pretty cool band names, though.”

 

She ignores my comment. “They’re American. I kind of want this song to sound like something they’d make. Listen to as much as you can before practice,” she says, shoving the MP3 into my hands, “so you’ll have a better grasp of what I want you to play.”

 

“What about the others? Do they know we’re starting a new song today?”

 

“Not yet. I have some ideas for lead guitar that I’ve been throwing around, but Azusa should pick them up pretty fast. Other than that, pop-punk guitar is mostly power chords.”

 

“Then why am I the only one who has to listen?” It’s suspicious that she didn’t mention _my_ part.

 

“You’ll see. I know you can do it.” She says this with a wink, and without a hint of doubt. Seems like she’s putting a lot of faith in me.

 

I have a bad feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

 

I’ve squeezed most of Mio’s recommendations out during lunch, and… well. I have mixed feelings.

 

The good news: I’m really digging the sound. It’s catchy, the songs are fast-paced, the singers are singing their hearts out, and most of the instruments sound pretty easy despite the tempo.

 

The bad news: _My_ instrument is friggin’ hard.

 

Like, seriously. The fast tempos are already a bad sign for me, but there are times when I had no idea those patterns were humanly possible. Especially out of the Yellowcard songs I’ve listened to. How many arms does that guy have? His fills are ridiculous! Sometimes he hits the snare on the weirdest beatings, too. I mean, it still _sounds_ right in a way, but if Mio asks me to play something like that, I’m screwed. It’s just not natural to hit the snare on the offbeat like that.

 

For once, I’m the first one to the clubroom after school. I’m listening to another Yellowcard song - this one’s called _Shadows and Regrets_ \- and while it’s slower and a little easier to understand, the drums are still one of the driving forces behind their music. I swallow and it goes down like a rock.

 

Mio walks in, the girl who’s responsible for all the suffering that I’ll surely go through in the next couple weeks. Who would’ve guessed that my best friend would be the one to betray me?

 

“What?” she asks as she takes her seat. I’ve been glaring daggers at her since she showed up.

 

“You expect me to play stuff like this?” I shake the MP3 player at her. “How good do you think I am? ‘Cause I’m not that good.”

 

I expect her to have a reasonable explanation for this, but instead she starts laughing. It goes on for a good ten seconds, which only makes me even more confused. It might even piss me off a bit.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“You’re overreacting,” she says between giggles, “but that’s exactly how I imagined you’d react.”

 

I can’t say anything, because she’s right. My reddening face doesn’t help either. Dammit! Mio having me figured out shouldn’t be this embarrassing.

 

“If you’re talking about the triplet beats, they’re not that hard,” she says after her shoulders stop shaking. “But, to answer your question: no. My song’s actually on the slower side.”

 

“Really?” I rub the side of my face, wishing my embarrassment would just go away.

 

“Really. I’m thinking for the first verse, you’d just do eighth notes on the hi-hat and sidestick the snare on beats two and four.” For once, I’m thankful for the difference between her and me. It’s not like her to tease a poor flustered soul. If our positions were reversed (and they usually are), I’d definitely pounce on an opportunity like that.

  
At the moment, I’m relieved for another reason, too. “That sounds pretty normal, actually.”

 

“Oh, don’t worry.” A concerning smile takes shape - a _grin_ , even. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Mio grin like that before. “That’s just the first verse, and it’s mostly buildup for the rest of the song.”

 

“I think you have too much faith in me.” I look towards my drum set, sitting in front of the blackboard. Time to shake the dust off, I guess. And I mean that literally; I don’t think we’ve held rehearsal in almost a week.

 

“I know you can do it.” She said the same thing this morning, and again, it doesn’t reassure me much. “Did you like the songs I showed you? You’d have more motivation to learn if you like the genre, I think.”

 

One of those songs is still playing in my ear, but I didn’t realize it until now. I pull the earbud out. “Yeah. It’s super catchy, lots of cool guitar parts, that kinda thing. I could see us playing something like this.” Actually, Mio should consider herself lucky that I’m digging it. I might already be bowing out if I weren’t.

 

“That’s good. I was hoping you’d like it.”

 

...or she was expecting me to like it all along. I get the feeling that she’s roping me into this.

 

I offer her MP3 back to her, but she takes my hand and pushes it gently back towards me. “You can keep it for now. Just in case it gives you inspiration.”

 

Okay, that line is just the latest in a string of strangely insightful things she’s been spouting all day. Like, what the hell? That’s so cryptic! Why are you saying everything with that knowing smile? It’s weird!

 

For now, I’m saved as the door opens again. The other girls pour in, lively as always. Mugi carries a box of pastries with her, which I already know will lay woefully untouched for most of the afternoon.

 

Other than a bit of small talk, Mio doesn’t waste much time in introducing our newest project. “Alright, everyone,” she announces, clasping her hands together, “Today, I’d like to start a new song that I’ve been working on!”

 

Everyone reacts pretty typically: Azusa’s eyes light up and she looks like she’s about to burst with excitement. Yui’s eyes light up, too, but she immediately looks towards the box of sweets on the table.

 

Me too, Yui. Me too.

 

“We don’t need to perform for anything soon,” Mugi points out. “What brought this on?”

 

At this point, Mio can hardly contain her own smile. It’s a little cute, seeing her get so pumped about this… but it would probably be cuter if a lot of this responsibility wasn’t on me. “Seems like she got inspired,” I say.

 

“Well, that’s all the better!” Mugi clasps her hands together too. “When can we start?”

 

“I thought you’d never ask.” Mio takes the box of sweets and draws it a little closer to herself. “How about we start now? We can eat after we’ve made a little progress.” Her hand is firmly on top, keeping it closed shut.

 

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like the atmosphere in the room deflates, just a little.

 

* * *

 

 

The usual sounds of setup spread throughout the room. Mugi switches her amp on, and it’s accompanied by a loud _snap_. Mio tells Yui about her part while our guitarist absently tunes her guitar. Azusa shoots Yui a dirty look behind her back while she searches for her electric tuner.

 

One of the great parts of being a drummer is that I don’t have to set anything up during practice. The drums are loud as hell on their own, so I actually have to watch how hard I bang on these things. I take the chance to listen in on Mio’s conversation. Maybe I can get an idea of how hard this’ll be.

 

“It’s pretty close to your typical four-chord progression, except the timings are a little different,” Mio’s saying. “Just play C for two measures, then G for one, and then you’ll play A minor to B minor in the last one.”

 

Yui bent her fingers towards the appropriate position, but part way through she stops, her nose wrinkling in confusion. “Um… What’s C again?”

 

Exasperation flits across Mio’s face, but it’s quickly replaced by a somewhat strained smile. I think I’m the only one who saw it. “Put your ring finger on the third fret, and…” Yui finds the right shape. “Yeah, that’s it. Now go to G.”

 

Yui doesn’t move. Mio seems to realize where this is going. “Just put your fingers here.”

 

The rhythm guitar part seems pretty easy. After Yui gets the hang of it, she’ll be able to play it in her sleep. Mio moves on to Azusa’s lead guitar part, and I (quietly!) start to tap out the beat that Mio told me.

 

“Yeah, that’s about it, Ritsu.” Mio calls out to me. “I like it, but could you add another sidestick between beats 3 and 4?”

 

I nod. Easy enough.

 

“Could you play your part over the beat?” Mio asks Azusa, and our junior starts a pretty simple, three-or-four-note riff that’s pretty ring-y sounding. I like it. That girl catches on quick, too. We almost don’t deserve her.

 

Since the intro is basically the same as the first verse, it isn’t long before everyone’s got the gist of their parts. “Alright, everyone.” Mio walks back to her spot beside me and slings her bass over her shoulder. “Ready to try it together?”

 

Everyone responds with some form of assent.

 

Mio turns to me. “Take us away, Ritsu.”

 

I realize that I don’t know how to start. “Do I just come in with the regular beat?”

 

“Yeah, after Azusa plays a short intro. You still need to count us off, though.”

 

Everyone’s looking at me. I clack my sticks together. Azusa plays what’s basically a slower, lower version of the riff I heard earlier. After she lets the last note ring, I come in with a crash on the next measure.

 

The song starts off surprisingly quietly. The guitars are both clean, without any distortion. Yui only plays her chords a few times per measure, and as I heard earlier, her chords don’t change that often. Mugi plays full chords and lets them ring out. I, of course, am just playing my little easy beat.

 

I think I like it. It’s still us, but it’s not throwing every instrument in our faces right out of the gate. It’s actually more like we’re just jamming. Our sound starts to sink in, to mesh. I watch the others start to smile. Yui’s head starts to bob with the beat. Azusa shoots me a pleasant smile, and I return the gesture.

 

The bass hasn’t come in yet. I look at Mio and tilt my head to ask her why. She only winks. Judging by her own smile, this must be pretty close to her vision for this song. After about half a minute of cycling through, she steps forward and starts playing. It’s nice and simple, and our sound is complete. But it doesn’t last long; she waves her hands in the air and we all stop. Immediately turning to me, she says: “I want you to get fancy with the kick, Ritsu.”

 

“Huh?” On instinct, I give the bass drum an experimental tap.

 

“Don’t hit the kick on the usual downbeats. Syncopate it.”

 

Oh, crap. I _knew_ it wasn’t going to be this easy. Unnatural accents are my greatest enemy. “Why?”

 

“How did you feel about that first run-through?” she asks. She glances towards the others, although it’s clear that it’s directed at me.

 

I didn’t expect her to respond to my question with a question. “Uh… it was pretty cool. It sounded more like a groove than a proper song.”

 

“Exactly!” Her eyes are twinkling again. “I want this song to have a groove. I think adding kicks on the off-beats would help that. Don’t you agree?”

 

I want to say no. That’s just more work for me, and I think we already have a pretty good start. But then I think of the possibilities. How much groovier this song would be, for lack of a better word. How Mio might actually praise my drum skills if I can pull something off. She’s staring at me pleadingly.

 

“Fine.” I try to smile, but it doesn’t feel right. I know how far my drumming can take me, and it’s not this far. I already agreed to try it, though. No backing out now.

 

“You can do it, Ricchan!” Yui encourages me. “You can be like _boom_ , and _bam,_ and…” She makes other sounds that don’t exactly sound like drum hits, but I get the message.

 

“Thanks, Yui.” My grin has a bit more confidence in it. “Ready for another go?”

 

* * *

 

 

I only have one personal policy when playing drums: Don’t mess up.

 

I might have to look for a new policy after this session.

 

The hi-hat and snare are the easy part. I could play that for hours. But throw the kick in, and suddenly I’m flailing, missing my snare hits, throwing the entire tempo off. I guess part of the problem is that I’m almost literally _throwing_ it in; since Mio only told me not to play on the downbeat, I’ve been trying to put it anywhere else, with awful results.

 

As I said before, I’m not used to playing outside of my comfort zone. So of course when I try to, I mess everyone up. What did you expect, Mio?

 

I guess it isn’t all bad. Mio doesn’t stop our rehearsal to tell me to stop sucking. I know she (and the others) are thinking that, though, since someone’s glancing at me every time I kick completely off-beat or lose my place on the hi-hat. Maybe they think it’s just a natural part of learning a new song. Only a musical genius wouldn’t mess up during the first few runs.

 

But I don’t think I’ve ever messed up this badly.

 

To make matters worse, we’ve already moved on to the next part of the song: the chorus. There’s a little pre-chorus before that where I start hitting the snare proper, but it’s just a taste of the sound explosion that’ll surely happen afterwards.

 

At least, I hope so. That’s how most choruses work: loud, fun, unapologetic. (I’m pretty sure I’m using that last word correctly.) Since Mio’s telling Azusa and Yui to switch on the distortion and the power chords, it looks like my hunch is right.

 

“We’ll just jump into the chorus,” Mio says to me. “I want to hear how the transitions sound between sections.”

 

“What am I supposed to do? Just go loud?”

 

“Yeah, and can you double-time the hi-hat? Play sixteenth notes on it.”

 

“I’ll try to…” Mio doesn’t notice my frown, since she’s crouched down and digging into the mic bag next to her feet. “Wait, you’re gonna add vocals to it already?”

 

“Don’t worry about me. Just keep playing, and I’ll signal when I want us to go into the chorus.”

 

I watch her hook it up, then check on the others. Azusa and Yui practice their parts with the sound off. They don’t seem too worried. Isn’t this moving a bit too fast? Shouldn’t we get the first part of the song down pat before moving on?

 

“Ready when you are, Ritsu.”

 

Guess not. I take a deep breath and count us off for the millionth time today. We go through a couple rounds of the first verse. I’m trying to limit myself to a couple kicks per measure, and to my surprise, it doesn’t sound too terrible. More importantly, I’m keeping the beat.

 

“After I sing two lines, go into the pre-chorus,” Mio announces into the mic. “Got it?” Everyone nods, more or less to the beat of the song. Then, she comes in.

 

Mio’s lyrics have always been… _personal_. I don’t know if that’s the best word, since I don’t think most of her lyrics are about herself. But I’ve always been able to relate to them. They feel real. Powerful, even. It’s just another side of her amazing talent, I guess, and these lyrics are no different. You’ve done it again, my friend.

 

_Last night, it had me down - I’m feeling numb_

_I can try, but sometimes that is not enough_

_No, sometimes that is not enough._

After repeating the last line with a bit of added emphasis, she looks my way and gives me a quick nod. That’s my cue. I give us a quick fill and we’re into the pre-chorus without much trouble. Sure, I’m playing a dumbed-down version without much kick, but at least we don’t sound terrible.

 

Mio repeats the last line two more times, but it looks like I spoke too soon. Apparently, Yui’s playing something else for the pre-chorus. It sounds like octaves, but it also doesn’t sound quite right. Glances are exchanged, but we keep going. We’re gradually getting louder. Somehow we bumble through without stopping, and we’re moving right along into the chorus.

 

I’m watching Mio while we play, and she’s moving around the mic a lot more. Her tone is earnest, which is fitting since her lyrics seem pretty serious this time around. But even then, she’s smiling, moving to the music, just enjoying herself.

 

Sometimes I forget how serious she can be about all this. It’s pretty easy to, since she’s surrounded by a bunch of girls who’d rather spend their after-school time goofing off. (I’m one of the guiltiest in that regard, even though Yui’s usually in on it too.)

 

And I end up paying for it when we play together. Yui kinda gets a pass to slack off, since she seems to have a knack for her instrument. That makes up for her awful practice schedule, if a schedule even exists in her mind.

 

But I’m not that lucky. If I took anything away from those Yellowcard songs, it’s that the drums are one of the main forces behind this genre. I’m not gonna sit here and lie to myself: that’s _definitely_ not the case with how I’m playing.

 

I’m not sure if it showed on my face, but Mio keeps looking my way before we go into the chorus. I mean, I’m not sucking _that_ badly, am I?

 

She winks.

 

I’m not sure whether that’s a _“You can do it!”_ or a _“Try and catch up.”_ I don’t have time to think about it, because she’s belting a lot louder now. They’re the lyrics I saw earlier.

 

_And stop calling me out! We’re never going to_

_Put the pieces back together_

_If you won’t let me get better_

 

Everyone seems to realize at once that we’re supposed to explode. Our guitars start hammering away at power chords, and Mugi starts to get a little fancier on the keys. Mio’s there, singing and smiling away, and I’m trying not to screw it all up.

 

It’s actually pretty badass. I’m used to going all-out, all the time, and I think everyone else is too. But we kinda had to lay low for the first verse, and now that we finally get to blow up, it’s just so much  cooler in comparison. I thought it’d be a trainwreck, since it’s our first time playing it. I’m glad I was wrong.

 

 _And stop digging it up, or_ -

 

Mio stops singing, which shatters that “perfect chorus” feeling that I’m trying to relish. Naturally, I mess up my sixteenth notes, and I can’t recover. The music peters out.

 

“Why’d you stop?” Azusa asks, disappointed. I can’t blame her, she looked like she was having a blast.

 

Still, I can’t let all the blame fall into me. “Mio stopped singing in the middle of the line!” I point at her with my drumstick.

“Sorry.” Mio steps back from the mic, and I notice that she’s kinda flushed. Her breathing is also heavy. She really _did_ get into it. “That’s actually all I have written out so far, but you all sounded great. What did you think of the lyrics?”

 

“They’re great as always, Mio-chan!” Yui exclaims. “They’re really serious, but they suit you, too!”

 

“They’re quite fitting. I’m excited to hear what else you’ll come up with,” Mugi adds.

 

“Thank you.” Mio’s face reddens further. “It’s pretty late, so we can call it for today.”

 

I glance at the clock. It’s almost six. I try not to frown, sigh, complain, or otherwise ruin the mood. I mean, it was fun… when we were all in sync, and when I wasn’t sucking. Which wasn’t that often.

 

Still, that chorus was something else. I catch myself humming the vocal melody on the way to the table.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ah, I really needed that!” I set my fork down on the table, my slice of cake devoured. “Practice was _rough_.”

 

“It wasn’t _that_ bad.” Azusa’s face has disapproval all over it. “We were sounding pretty good by the end. Mio-senpai’s writing a pretty awesome song.”

 

I watch her stare admiringly into the distance as soon as she starts talking about Mio. “Easy for you to say,” I mutter. “You weren’t tripping all over your part.”

 

“The drums _do_ seem rather difficult,” Mugi says, a hand over her face to cover up a mouthful of cake. “Mio-chan must have a lot of faith in you.”

 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” I roll my eyes.

 

The girl of the hour already went home, citing homework or something else that doesn’t really matter. I usually go home with her, but today I let her go without a second thought. She gets to work on homework, I get to complain. Everyone wins!

 

“It sounds great, but Mio’s asking me to do too much.” I reach for another slice of cake and feeling betrayed when I see the box is empty. “She, of all people, should know what I can play and what I can’t.”

 

“I’m sure she does,” Mugi says, staring at me intently.

 

“Then why’s my part so difficult?”

 

Mugi shrugs. I don’t know why I asked her. I should be asking the one who dumped this on me. Still, Mugi’s answer was kinda cryptic. Or maybe I’m overthinking it.

 

“You’ll get it eventually, Ricchan!” Yui leans forward. She has a bit of cake smeared on her cheek. I want to laugh even though she’s being serious.

 

“Yeah, I hope so too.”

 

“Don’t one bad practice get you down! I think we’re really in for something special here!”

 

I want to deny that with yet another example of my struggles from today, but I stop myself. Yui’s right. One hundred percent right. I can’t get that chorus out of my head. We were all feeling it. The instruments blended perfectly. And Mio’s voice was perfect.

 

But that was only, like, thirty seconds at the most out of a super long practice. To be honest, I don’t know why or how we kicked it into high gear at that specific moment. Did we all know it’d be that cool?

 

On that note, there’s a lot about this song that I don’t know, and I’m not just talking about the drumming. Why Mio’s so pumped about it, how she came up with these lyrics, and so on. It kinda bothers me, more than I’d like to admit.


	2. What Did You Expect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never trust me to update in a timely manner.

_“And stop calling me out! We’re never going to_

_Put the pieces back together_

_If you won’t let me get better”_

I stop singing. My attempt at imitating that chorus echoes off the walls of my room before petering out. I lay there in silence for a moment, my eyes already adjusted to the darkness.

I’m hardly the best singer I know, but I’d like to think I’ve got that vocal melody down. My own grievances aside, I have to agree with Yui: Mio’s really onto something here. There’s a lot to like: the soft-loud contrast between verse and chorus, the simple but effective guitar parts, and so on.

And her singing…

It’s no secret that Mio’s a good singer. A great one, even. But her voice, combined with that awesome vocal line? It’s like she wrote this song just to show that off!

Then I think of my own part. Okay, so that’s probably not true. If she wanted to show off, she would’ve written a crazy hard bassline and made the rest of our parts a breeze.

What is going _on_?

I’m not really helping myself, since I refused to practice after getting home. Cut me some slack; practicing for hours and still sucking is so discouraging. I need to sleep that off. Maybe I can practice in my sleep? It’ll be stressful, but if I walk into practice tomorrow with my part mastered, Mio’s jaw will hit the ground faster than she can say “What the heck?” Plus, with the extra free time, I’ll finally be able to eat that cake we left out to dry yesterday! This is my best idea yet!

* * *

 

It didn’t work. Can’t blame a girl for trying, though.

Looks like I have to do this the hard way.

“Is something wrong?”

I look up. Mio’s stare is concerned. Maybe she thinks I didn’t get enough sleep?

“I’m fine! One hundred percent!” I try to grin at her.

“Really, now? It certainly doesn’t look like it,” she says, not convinced.

...Or, maybe my hunched shoulders and uncharacteristic frown gave me away. I need to work on that. “Just a little tired.” I straighten up.

She looks at me for a moment longer, then turns and keeps walking without a word.

I feel like I should be offended, but then again, Mio always gives me advice on things like this. _“Don’t sleep so late,”_ for one. Or _“you need to study more, your grades aren’t too good.”_ Or even _“We’ve already watched this DVD thousands of times! Can’t we do something else?”_

...Not my fault I love live concerts, and that’s the best way I can experience them at the moment.

The way to school is cold and snowy, but it’s nothing we’re not used to. My lagging pace makes me fall behind a bit, and I have to jog to catch up to her.

“So.” I try to broach the hot topic of the day. “What’re we doing for practice today?”

She turns to face me and shrinks back. I realize that I must’ve come off as too hopeful; my face is only inches from hers. “Take a wild guess.”

“...Cake?”

“Your cake-eating days are over.” She pushes me, unable to contain a playful smile.

I stumble back, feigning weakness. “I’ll never give up cake, even if it costs me my life!”

Her eyes hold me for a moment longer.“Think of it this way: cake can be our reward for getting farther in the song.” She turns away, and my shoulders release a tension I didn’t know they had.

“What?!” I cross my arms and huff. “Cake’s already my reward for something else.” Seeing that my expression of protest was ignored, I have to hurry once again to catch up to her.

“Reward for what?” Mio raises an eyebrow.

“Uh… for existing?” I flash her a smile.

She rolls her eyes. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

Yeah, that wasn’t my best attempt.

“I hope you’ve practiced,” she continues. “We’re going full speed ahead today.”

I swallow hard, thankful that her back is turned. “I can practice at practice. Isn’t that what practice is for?”

“You know what I mean.” I can see the aggravation on her face just by listening to her.

I’m really in for it, aren’t I?

* * *

 

The moment of reckoning has come.

The girls take their sweet time in setting up, blissfully unaware of the trainwreck that barrels down on us like, well… like a runaway train, I guess? Figurative language isn’t my strong suit. No cake boxes sit on the table, which is abandoned and empty like… like a… okay, forget it.

Not even _one_ sympathetic glance comes my way, towards the lost girl sitting behind the drum set. Whatever. I don’t mind. They’d probably tell me that I brought this on myself. They’d be right, but it wouldn’t make their apathy hurt any less.

“We’ll run through what we know first,” Mio announces into the mic. “I’ve written out lyrics for everything up until the chorus, so we’ll have better indicators of when to transition. Is everyone ready?”

Everyone nods except me. It doesn’t matter, because Mio turns to me and says: “Count us off, Ritsu.”

No way out now. I clack my sticks together. Azusa plays her little riff, and we come in.

I could get used to this little groove, if only I could get my kicks down. I’m still sticking to a dumbed-down version of it. Mio or Azusa might tell me that practice is where you get all your mistakes out, and I agree to an extent, but it’s hard to believe that when everyone else is jamming, coasting, _smiling_ on their instruments and I’m the only one lagging. Better to pretend I’ve got it than to make a fool of myself.

After we cycle through the opening riff for about eight measures, Mio steps forward.

_Sometimes, at night, I let it get to me_

_And sometimes, I’m sure it gets to all of us_

She sings, not loudly, which reflects the almost-quiet jam that we have going. She draws out the word “sometimes” each time it comes up, which only gives her a few measures to say the rest of the line. It’s a pretty cool contrast.

Not to mention her bass-playing, which is deceptively complex. While it mostly sticks to the root of each chord, her notes are landing on the offbeats more often than not. That’s not easy to do, since she’s basically going against the rest of the instruments, which play on the downbeats. It’s kinda like what I’m supposed to do with the kick, except _she_ seems to be pretty good at it already.

And she’s doing it while singing, too! What the heck? Why are you so talented, Mio?

I’m so absorbed in some sort of weird mix between jealousy and admiration that I almost trip over my simple beat. I shake my head, drawing the glances of some of my bandmates. I regain my footing just in time to hear the next part of the verse.

_And last night, it had me down - I’m feeling numb_

_I can try, but sometimes that is not enough_

_No, sometimes that is not enough._

That’s the part I heard yesterday, which means we’re onto the pre-chorus. I trip over the transition, but thankfully I’m not the only one. Yui hunches over her guitar just a little more, but she can’t hide the fact that her part still isn’t fully there yet. She catches my eye, and we exchange a sheepish glance. We’re along for Mio’s wild ride together. For now.

Mio herself doesn’t interrupt us despite our mistakes. Our sound expands for the chorus, smiles break out all around, and then Mio waves her hands in the air. She looks around, taking in everyone’s expectant expressions, and then says:

“Well, it seems like we haven’t forgotten anything.” Her own expression is neutral. It’s frustrating. She turns to Yui. “Keep working on your part. We’re going to move on soon, so I don’t want you to lag behind.”

Yui takes it well, with a confident smile and a salute. “Yes, ma’am!”

With that settled, Mio glosses over the the other two, landing on me. Of course. “I think you know what I’m going to say.”

I look away and clack my sticks together. “Maybe.”

“So why don’t you add those kicks in? That’s what practice is for, you know. We won’t judge you if you make mistakes.”

“That’s right! I make mistakes all the time!” Yui offers, her hand shooting into the air.

I’m not convinced. “Do I _have_ to? I think the song already sounds pretty good.”

“Just trust me. Please, Ritsu?” Mio steps closer. She’s _pleading_ with me. Giving me puppy-dog eyes! Are you kidding? That’s not gonna work! What am I, your girlfriend?

Mugi’s back there at her keyboard _grinning_. Stop it! Do you think I can’t see you?! To appease Mio, and to wipe that smile off Mugi’s face, I let loose a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I’ll _try_ , at least.” I lean back on my stool, rolling my eyes for dramatic effect.

“Thank you!” Mio breaks out into a smile. Seems like my theatrics didn’t get across to her. “Let’s go through it one more time, then?” She moves back to her usual spot and adjusts her mic.

Great. I try not to roll my eyes again as I count us off. The intro starts the same way as usual. I’m throwing myself off with the kicks in weird places. Nothing new there.

_Sometimes, at night, I let it get to me_

_And sometimes, I’m sure it gets to all of us_

_And last night, it had me down - I’m feeling numb_

_I can try, but sometimes that is not enough_

_No, sometimes that is not enough._

Not the first time I’ve heard these lines, but this might be the first time I’ve really _heard_ these lines. If that makes sense. Whether these lyrics are about herself or not, Mio’s struck that perfect balance between relatability and individuality. I know those are big words for me to use, but let me explain.

I like Mio’s lyrics for those two reasons, but it’s hard to have both at the same time. If lyrics are too vague, then they can be applied to literally anything and lose their interesting-ness as a result. But if they’re too specific to a person’s experience, then it’s hard for anyone outside of the writer to understand them.

This verse somehow does both at the same time. They’re Mio’s lyrics, so I know she has to have _some_ personal connection to them. But I also feel “it” getting to me, as corny as that sounds. That “it” is my own issues with this song, but it probably means something else for her.

Yeah, I think about Mio’s lyrics a lot. Is that surprising? Maybe. So what?

Mio stops us before we reach the chorus. “See, I knew you could do it.” She smiles at me.

“Do what?” I’d been too caught up in the lyrics.

“The kicks. They sounded great!” Mio gestures towards my kit, as if it were obvious.

Azusa nods in agreement. “What changed between the last playthrough and this one?”

I’m so lost. “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

“Of course not.” Mio gives me a strange look. “You were aware of what you were doing… right?”

“...No…” I draw out my response, looking at each of my bandmates’ confused stares in turn. “Was it right?”

Mio doesn’t know what to make of it. She throws her hands in the air, shaking her head all the while, but says nothing to accompany the gesture. “...Well,” she finally declares, sounding short of breath, “I don’t know how that works, but you just proved you can do it.”

“There’s no way,” I protest. “I wasn’t paying attention. At all.”

“Maybe…” she puts a hand to her chin, staring not at me, but past me. “... that’s why you got it right.”

Um, what? “You’re not making any sense.”

“Have you ever felt like you’re your own worst enemy while playing?” Mio tries to explain. “You psych yourself out because you’re scared of messing up, even though you probably could do it.”

I duck my head, trying not to let my embarrassment show. She’s spot on. “The first part’s definitely true.” The other girls nod to themselves. It’s just part of being a musician.

“And so is the second one.” Hints of a smile play across her face. “You just did it, because you weren’t over-thinking.”

I take in everyone’s expressions, which range from impressed to satisfied. Once again, I’m the only one who’s not in on this.... this _joke_ , and I _really_ hope this won’t be the norm from here on out. “...Can we run through it again?” I raise two hesitant sticks in the air. Really, it’s the only way to prove them wrong (or right).

“That’s the spirit, Ricchan!” Mugi pipes up from the back. I can only manage a shrug back.

* * *

 

About fifteen minutes later, I have officially been proved right.

...Or was it proved wrong?

Okay, no, I’ve got it. I’ve proved _myself_ right, and everyone else wrong. That is to say: I don’t “have it down.”

The problem with doing something unconsciously arrives when you try to do it consciously. Or something like that. I think I heard that somewhere, in one of my classes? Or was it online?

Anyway, I know I’m right. In this case, I started overthinking the beat once I realized that I was capable of doing it. Except this time, there was even _more_ pressure on myself to repeat that earlier run-through. And of course I screwed it all up again in tragicomic fashion. On every successive attempt since that one fluke.

God, I suck.

Mio’s staring at me after our most recent run-through. She’s not mad, but I’d almost prefer that with the way she’s looking at me now. She’s _peering_ at me, with a hand on her chin and everything, oblivious to the fact that everyone else is watching her watch me.

“...Do you need something, Akiyama-san?” I give her my best sidelong glance, hoping the unconventional name-calling will get her to voice what’s surely her latest inane idea.

It works, but her expression doesn’t change. “What will it take to get you to practice?”

Yep, _that’s_ an idea if I’ve ever heard one.

I look away. “Wow, I’m getting called out.”

“Just like the song!” Yui jumps in, pleased that she understood the reference.

Except it wasn’t a reference. It takes me another few seconds before I realize I had recited a line from the chorus.  “Oh. Right.” I look away even more. “That wasn’t on purpose, for the record.” Quoting song lyrics isn’t really my thing. Too cheesy.

Mio’s still observing me. “You’d be surprised. Even putting in twenty minutes before you go to bed could make a world of difference.”

 “It’s only been a day, Mio,” I protest. “There’s no way I could’ve nailed it by now.”

“But you did earlier.”

“...Yeah, that was a fluke.”

Mio tilts her head as if she’s about to press further, but instead she says: “That’s right, it’s only been a day. Sorry. I must be getting ahead of myself.”

“Exactly.” I take great care not to mention the impressive progress of literally everyone but me. Can we move on?”

I’m glad that I chose that particular moment to ask, because Mio’s thoughts are already elsewhere. “Ah, then do you have any new lyric ideas?”she asks. “I’m still looking for some fitting lines to end the chorus, you know.”

“No way, no way.” I wave my hands in front of me. “You’re reading into that too much.” (‘That’ being my accidental lyric reference moments before, of course.) It was just a coincidence.”

I mean, it’s true that I’ve been thinking about these lyrics a lot, but that doesn’t need to be public information.

“Alright.” She nods absently, still in thought about something. “Don’t be afraid to sing along if something comes up. We’ll do one more, and we’ll call it a day?”

Everyone else nods, so I can’t say no. We’re about to launch into the same loop when a thought hits me. “Can we practice something else?”

Silence. Mio quirks an eyebrow at me, before a short giggle escapes her. Her giggles are cute, and really too spare for my liking. Usually. But this time, I’m a little thrown off by it. Offended, even. It feels out of place. “Is that weird?”

Her answer is instant. “A little.”

The others nod in agreement.

“...I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“You never ask to practice,” Mio explains, “ and now, the one time you do, it’s _not_ for the song we need to practice for at the moment.” She sees my blank stare, and adds: “It’s just kind of ironic, you know?”

My blank stare moves to everyone else in the room. Pretty sure my jaw dropped at some point, and really, it looks better that way. What am I, an _alien_? Is the concept of “Not Sucking” so strange to everyone else? “I have no clue how you all still have steam. I’m _burnt_.”

Mio’s silent for a moment, trying to process such an idea. “Okay, how about this? We’ll do it one more time. If you’re still not happy with your progress, we’ll move on. Or stop completely. It’s your call.”

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on that. We’re stopping after this.” I raise my sticks, still kinda miffed about everyone’s reaction to suggest practicing further. This way, I get to go home faster.

Mio glances at the clock. “Maybe I’m running you all a little thin. Sorry about that.”

Is that what it took to knock some sense into her?

With a sigh, I count us off. Maybe it’s out of defiance, frustration, or some combination of the two, but I launch into the full-fledged beat.

_And stop calling me out!_

_We’re never going to_

_Put the pieces back together_

_If you won’t let me get better_

So.

Let’s pretend, for a second, that these lyrics apply to me. (Maybe Yui’s noticing how I accidentally referenced the song back there wasn’t just coincidence.)

If that’s the case, then I could figure this whole lyrical setup as a metaphor. I know, I know. We’re delving into figurative language territory again, but I really feel like I’m onto something. Just trust me.

_And stop digging it up, or -_

So, what’s the most obvious metaphor for personal growth that’s out there? The one that’s always used in books, movies, media, and so on? Especially when it applies to _girls’_ media?

_We’re never gonna see it_

_All in bloom!_

Yeah. That one. The flower: universally fitting as an image of growth. Why wouldn’t I apply it to this song?

It’s not until the chorus is done that I realize everyone else has long since stopped playing. Naturally, their eyes are on me. The drums pitter out, pitifully. What did I do this time?

Mio looks particularly surprised. She raises a finger. Her eyes are wide. “That’s… that’s it,” she almost whispers. Slowly, her mouth creaks into a smile. “That’s it! That’s perfect!”

Oh. I said it out loud. Dammit.

She’s standing in front of me now. When did she get there? Now she’s clasping my hands in hers, shaking them as she bounces up and down. “I knew you had it in you!” It’s the widest I’ve seen her smile in days. “Now the chorus is complete!”

“Uh.” I look at the others, trying to signal for them to “Please Help Me.” Either my frantic eye gestures didn’t come off to them, or they’re enjoying the scene just as much as Mio, because they’re just standing there. With smiles on their faces. Actually, no, wait - is Mugi _smirking_? My God, this is so frustrating!

Ever since we starting playing this damn song, I’ve felt like I’m the only sensible one in here. What alternate universe is this?

“It’s not that great. It’s only two lines.” I try to play it off. I’ve never actually contributed to one of our songs. Lyrically, I mean. Do I _look_ like a poet?

Well, I guess Yui’s no Kenji Miyazawa either, but that’s not the point.

“But it’s just what I was looking for!” Mio hasn’t let go of my hands yet. She’s so upbeat about this. I can’t turn her down.

Guess that’s what happens when your best friend happens to be too adorable for her own good. It’s not all bad news for me, though. I see an opportunity.

“So, can we call it a day now? If the chorus is done, I’d say that’s good progress.” I cross my fingers and hope no one brings up my lackluster playing.

Mio steps back. I swear she’s vibrating with excitement or something. She can’t stand still. “Of course,” she coughs. “Good work today, everyone.” She turns away, but she’s still grinning.

* * *

 

As everyone packs up, she pulls me aside. “Thanks for today.” She says it while staring at the ground. “I know this isn’t easy for you, but you should give yourself more credit. You’re really important to this whole thing.” She motions towards the rest of the room.

I want to tell her to can it. I don’t really deserve that from her, since I was one screw-up away from throwing in the towel entirely. Something stops me, though, and I know what that something is.

These past two days have been a little hectic for me, and it’s mostly been Mio’s fault. But looking at her now, just one blush away from completing that “Shy Beauty” look she’s basically perfected, I know that she means nothing but the best for me. Nice to know that hasn’t changed even though she’s been acting a _little_ out of character recently.

“Thanks, Mio.” I reach out and pat her on the shoulder, at which she smiles. “Means a lot.”

And really, it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it a little hard to believe that Yui would be able to pick up on a lyric reference that Ritsu says _in Japanese_ , even though the song is _in English?_ And she picked up on it right away, and was able to translate it right away??
> 
> Yeah, maybe that's hard to believe. But I hope you're willing to overlook that one ridiculous detail.


End file.
